---
title: Receiving feedback (without being an asshole)...
tags:

  - culture
  - continuous improvement
  - feedback
permalink: /receiving-feedback-without-being-an-asshole/
id: 19
updated: '2014-03-06 12:53:55'
date: 2014-03-02T21:12:08.000Z
---

<span style="float: left">[Providing feedback <i class="fa fa-hand-o-left"></i>](/providing-feedback-without-being-an-asshole/)</span><br />

Feedback is a two way street if you are willing to hear your strengths reinforced, you should be able to handle what people think are your flaws.
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## Don't get Emotional

One of the big problems I have when providing feedback is that person often takes it far more personal than its intended. If someone has properly sat you down and asked you for a moment of your time, they are taking time out of their day, and yours. They are doing this, because they want to see your professional relationship with that person to grow and succeed.

>Listen to the feedback in detail, and try to see things from their perspective.

## Ask Questions

You need to ask questions here. This is how you identify what exactly the problem is and why. Also let them understand your perspective, and why you thought you were doing the right thing. Fully understand the problem at hand. Even if you disagree with the feedback, acknowledge their stance and be polite during the conversation.

## Don't pull others into the conversation
Do not try to Place blame on others, just remember these are **you're** behavior problems, not someone else's. Don't tell them to also talk to *XYZ* person, just because you think they are also doing the same. If they are doing the same problem, inform that person directly using my [guide](/providing-feedback-without-being-an-asshole/) on providing feedback.

## Show Appreciation
Even if you disagree always show appreciation. Let them know their time is not wasted, and always seem approachable. The ultimate goal is to take the feedback, while still maintaining a solid relationship with this person. Just remember whomever they are you are most likely going to have to interact with them again in you're organization.

## ...but I disagree
If you really disagree take in the feedback, wait until the emotional level has calmed and then really point out why you disagree. Do not start yelling, or raising your voice, and always give your honest opinion. If you feel that the conversation is going nowhere, let the dust settle for a few days. If you feel you want to talk about it again, ask them to sit back down with you and resume the conversation in a civilized manor. Just remember being approachable is number one in a corporate atmosphere, and upsetting people is a career killer.
